SEEING RED

One of the spin studios I work at (The Busy Gym) has a very complicated lighting system.

There are nine different buttons (tiny and squashy like trampolines for mice) on a silver square which controls all the studio lights.

As far as I can tell this system will do even more complicated lighting combinations if you hold your fingers on the trampoline buttons for different amounts of time (Two seconds for pulsing, a firm push and hold for strobing etc). 

The Head Honcho did show it to me when I first started but I got slightly overwhelmed halfway through his explanation (too many settings) and drifted off.

Head Honcho: So yeah, it’s pretty cool, you can do a mixture of 38 lighting combinations and change it for each track! I actually programmed it myself.

Me: Yes. Oh. Well done!

HH: (Presses lots of different buttons proudly) So does that all make sense then? It’s pretty simple huh?

Me: Yes (thinking about what to have for breakfast and also wondering why Head Honcho isn’t working for some type of NASA programme if capable of such programming abilities.)

So as a result I’ve only touched it once and that was just to make HH feel like he had done good job explaining. (Due to him being so happy with his work). Up until this week.

Three minutes before the class was due to start a man wearing very tight shorts came up to front to talk to me.

Tight Shorts: Hello. I’m not very good with the colour red so could you possibly put it on a setting that doesn’t have red?

Me: Sure! I can try (doubtful and apprehensive. Wishing had listened more to Head Honcho)

TS: OK great. X that teaches on Tuesdays puts it on a nice greeny blue setting. I think it might be bottom left two taps.

Me: Wow greeny blue. OK. (Touch every button with different tap combinations – no luck. Red everywhere. In fact at one point whole studio goes red. TS has to look at floor)

TS: Oh dear, yes that’s still quite red.

Me: (Do more tapping and find setting where red seems to only appear randomly every 27^th second or so) I’m so sorry but the class is about to start and I’m really not having any luck with any amount of pressure or combinations. I think this is our best bet.

TS: (Thinking) I suppose I could close my eyes in the red bits

Me: Yes but how will you know when the red bits are coming up?

TS: Good point. I don’t suppose I will…

TS walks off and hops onto bicycle (takes while as difficult due to tightness of shorts). I teach class as normal and glance over every so often at TS. He’s cheerily spinning away with eyes closed even not in red bits!. Very confused. Think that maybe just likes keeping eyes closed? After class has finished, walk over to TS.

Me: Hello. I noticed you had your eyes closed a good fair amount there.

TS: Yes, I just couldn’t take the risk.

Me: Right. OK. Did you not feel quite dizzy, especially in the standing bits?

TS: (Cheerily) Oh yes, I did quite but it was better than seeing red.

Stayed after class to play with squashy buttons. Still couldn’t make red go away. Will have to ask Head Honcho for second explanation. (Or more likely just bring blindfold for TS).